Short hair.

Yes, I do find women very attractive, but I prefer a bit of scruff on the chin. I’ve always preferred men. I especially have a thing for jesus. Can I hear you say halleluja?

That being said. I’m a Capetonian with short hair who now resides in the land of mielies. Yes, you’ve guessed it, I live in Bloemfontein. When I tell fellow Capetonians this minor detail, they all grind their teeth one centimeter shorter. The worst is I have to deal with the conservative fever on a daily basis. The Christian folk. The farmers. The “Vryheidsfront tannies” with matching outfits. The racists. The poppies. The “vlaktes”. And so much more.

 

Having short hair in Cape Town in 2009 was a bold move. It was edgy and most woman who dared, looked gorgeous. In Bloemfontein it is the opposite.

One evening going to one of Bloemfontein’s favourite activities, The Braai, a rather strange guy confronted me. He pinched his eyes towards me and battled with a frown for a few seconds. With his chest wide and arms curved, he bolted: Hey, is jy ’n dyke?

A what? I was shocked.

“You know, soos ’n lesbian of het jy jou kop geskeer vir kanker?”

The reason for my shock wasn’t only the question, but the fact that he could associate me with the Bloemfontein dykes! Have you ever met a Bloemfontein dyke? I’m genuinely afraid of them. One look at her woman and boy, she will slap you so hard your face say hello to the floor.  Trust me, never upset one of these baggie pants-loose tie inspired by Avril-frosted tip beasts. They will you a proper PK.

I still have short hair and I’m thinking of cutting it into a mowhawk. I wonder how the Bloemfontein crowd will respond to this?